Will Power

I realized with absolutely certainty and an equal amount of shame, that I have a very long road ahead of me on this weight loss journey.  Thankfully, I will be following Christ this time and I know through Him, all things are possible.  The other night, my husband and I had a few errands to run and I said something to him about buying me an ice cream cone later.  At one point we were both talking about how we really want to lose weight and he surmised that we should skip the ice cream then.  I wasn't feeling 100% and was also feeling very warm and so as he was walking away, I whined (rather loudly) "But I'm hot"...as if I was actually expecting him to turn around and say that we should go get it right away then.  He gave in and asked me where I wanted to get the ice cream as we were leaving and I told him that I didn't want it.  He was feeling bad thinking that he had been too hard on me but I really didn't want to get any because I realized just how pathetic I was and how right he was about me not needing it.  Thankfully, he had more will power than I did at the right time.  As it continued to sink in how horribly pathetic I had acted, I started to really feel sorry for myself and I was angry that it was so difficult for me to give up the foods that I crave so often.  I got home and was talking with God, asking Him to help me find the strength and will power that I will surely need on this weight loss walk with Him and I started crying because I just felt so weak!  Then, I realized I had reached an all new level of pathetic so I listened to Him and got up to hit the treadmill.  Afterward, I felt 100 times better and was so thankful I had chosen the treadmill over the ice cream.  So, I owe this one to my husband and the man upstairs!

It's day one!

Are you ready God...here we go!  I have a mission for the coming year...I'm sure there will end up being more than one as I go through it, but my #1 mission is to lose 100 lbs...with the help and support of my Savior!  I have been up and down with my weight many times over the years and as the story goes, I always end up gaining more than what I lost.  I actually need to lose more like 120 lbs, but we'll start with 100 and see where we can go from there.  I just started to realize that God gave me my body and like everything else, He has entrusted it to me while I am here on this Earth.  It's really His though, like everything else...so I need to start treating it as such.  As Jesus tells the Pharisees in Matthew 23:26 "Blind Pharisee! First clean the inside...and then the outside will also be clean".  I think the reason I have failed so many times is that I just haven't been going about it the right way...I have been focused on the outer me rather than the inner me.  It's just time...beyond time and today was day one...it could have been better since I didn't get any exercise in...but the diet part was good.

Help me Jesus...I'm lost without you!